When it comes to building friendship the research has shown that the key factors are trust, honesty, and supportiveness. These relatively simple concepts are the building blocks of a great friendship. Unlike other traits like proximity and attractiveness, your ability to be honest, trustworthy and supportive are entirely in your control. The quality of your relationships is up to you. What a relief!
Honesty doesn’t live alone, it has an equally important counterpart, trust. Trust is a fragile thing that we discuss in more depth in this week’s podcast. We discuss approaching friends who aren’t always honest with themselves and with others, how to make others comfortable so that they can feel their truth is safe with you, and why being honest and being vulnerable are inextricably tied.
“Trust is choosing to be vulnerable to the actions of someone else.”
- Brené Brown
The Marble Jar
We mentioned this story briefly this week but wanted to share it with anyone who didn’t listen because well, Brené Brown is an expert and all-around friend goals. For any fans of Brené Brown, the concept of the marble jar might be familiar.
Paraphrasing here, she shared a story of her daughter’s heartbreak after feeling her trust was betrayed. Her daughter asked, “When will I ever know if it’s safe to trust anyone ever again?!” Brené reminded her that trust is built with friends over time, bit by bit, through their trustworthy actions, when you’ve established good experiences. Like adding marbles to a jar one by one, they add up quickly. Once you have enough goodwill then you can feel safe being vulnerable and disclosing with those people.
Watch her story and explanation here on SuperSoul.
One of the single bravest acts that people can be is, to be honest, and we get to take the chance over and over again every day.
“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it’ll always get you the right ones.”
- John Lennon
Calling all female friends across America!
We have just opened submissions to our Female Friends of America series, and you’re the first to know. We’d love all your stories and photos of female friendship – submit here to be featured in an upcoming newsletter, podcast, and on our social media.